Saturday, 7 November 2020
BORED!!!
Thursday, 5 November 2020
The most expensive mistake you can make - "IGNORANCE"
Friday, 9 October 2020
How many excuses do you make ?
And how it impacts your. Productivity?
#geminidhar
#takecharge5xformulas
Thursday, 8 October 2020
Wednesday, 7 October 2020
The choice to fly higher is yours, taking charge can change every aspect of your life .
Personal and professional
Email us @gemini.dhar@gmil.com or dm for appoinments
#growth
#takecharge5xformulas
#coaching
#womenentrepreneurs
#geminidhar
Tuesday, 8 September 2020
Where does strength come from ?
Where does strength come from ?
How do you rate your self when it comes to being strong ?
The popular perception of strength is physical, visual and almost so many pictures come to your mind .
Superhero’s are the strongest and they have superpowers
I grew up idolizing them and watching movies where flying , moving mountains meant that you could do anything .
Strong people are physically well built and have a personality that is very muscular
The strength that I related to was so different from the actual meaning of strength .
In the world of transformation- STRENGTH has a new meaning and truly last couple of years I could see how to discover strength in every single individual
Be it a child
Be it a teen
Be it a youngster
Be it a middle aged person
Or a senior person
Notice how I have not mentioned a man or a woman
A physically healthy or a physically challenged person
I have seen real life hero’s and heart wrenching stories of unthinkable strength
I met this woman who looked like any other person
Little reserved and very quiet something about her eyes made me think ??
Is she holding back something , to my disbelief I saw her faint in one of the seminars and later pick up the mic and have the strength to narrate her story .
She was someone who had lost her entire family in a car accident and she had to go alone to the accident spot to identify her family members
I choked on my tears and was shocked to know what she had gone through , she had lived with that pain , not given up and continued to live - for me that was ultimate strength
When you have had a back breaking day working , travelling and reached your limit, the phone bell rings and your little one starts committing and you stay up whole night to supervise your baby - that for me is strength
When you gave it your best and yet you failed at something , be it relationship , business And you lost it all
Yet you stand up and start over again - that for me is strength .
So lot of my clients and my friends say this to me
Gem you are so strong !!!
How do we become strong , I cannot imagine it of what you did , must have been difficult
To which I used it think is that really that difficult ??
Strength came to me from TAKING CHARGE
Strength came to me from heightened emotions
Strength also can to me from fear !
Strength came to me when I knew my little ones were watching me and how I dealt with obstacles
Through learning and my own research I have helped many women show strength
How was it possible ?
Well when you discover that vulnerability is powerful and emotions can be empowering
True strength comes from emotion .
Emotions can rule you or you could rule emotions
The real life stories of strength from ordinary people with extra ordinary mindsets , the way they handle their challenges and win over obstacles
That’s why a common man can Breakthrough a mountain and a mother can single handedly lift. Car to save her child
When you decide to Take charge of your emotions you are developing one of the most important trait of strength
Empowering emotions are worth billions
Single mothers do extremely well in their pursuits because they build strength through their dreams for their children’
If you know a woman who needs to be stronger , share this post with her
Or connect her with me at @ gemini.dhar@gmail.com
#motherhood
#singlemoms
#strength
#emotions
#takecharge5xformulas
#geminidhar
Monday, 24 August 2020
Kindness is equal to PROFIT!!!
Kindness is equal to PROFIT
WHAT !!
Gemini - I DON'T AGREE WITH YOU 😄
When we talk about profits years of learning to count the difference between cost and max retail price is profit
Or the balance sheet that you have been reading for years comes to your mind .
When your company or you make profit you are growing
When you have ample orders and clients you are in profit .
Gemini as an entrepreneur I know that profits are numbers , profits are clients and profits is that difference between cost and mrp
Where does kindness fit in !!!
Wired for money
Wired for success
Wired to be a go getter
Wired to do more
For an entrepreneur above is natural traits of growth which I extensively work on when a part of it is missing
Yet many of them when introduced to kindness become more agitated and look at me in disbelief
As if I am giving silly advise
It’s believed that we all are kind
And I agree each human being is filled with kindness yet very few of us consciously apply it to day to life
When it comes to business it’s rarely applied as most of the times we have to take decision that fetch us more money or that reduces our loss - think in numbers is mandatory when you are a business owner .
Hire and fire are policies mostly all huge corporate organisations use .
In the world of professionalism this is apt and nothing wrong with being calculative.
On the contra my with my experience with my vendors and staff has been unique and I have developed one part of my business coaching towards kindness
You can be kind when you experience kindness and how when one act of kindness towards you
When working with vendors and employees compassion plays a huge huge role .
We are one big family is great it say and when actually practiced can be difficult as part of it is forgiving mistakes , helping the weak ones grow , allowing that extra allowance of leaves , standing by your people and much more .
After all it’s humans we deal with .
Every person a unique personality and having their own special contribution towards a task or a job being kind gives you that strong bond and trust with your employees which will make them standby you when the going gets tough
It’s your chance to be their super hero
Truly I have seen the rewards of this
With 3 decades of professional relationship
Those who stand by me even today are precious
In the world where companies are laying off employees
That extra touch of kindness is will go a long way in nurturing the best relationships for your business
That extra credit that you get for your purchases ,that extra good quality and better service that you earn
Just because you used kindness
Next time someone is mean to you show them what kindness can do
Understanding humans is magical
It works wonders in professional as well as personal life
I admire Ratan Tata for the man he is and kindness has been his visible trait
So who is your role model ??
Do you want to build the foundation of an empire that gives you name fame and recognition that lasts many lifetimes
Than practice humane qualities , be ready to let go of few ounces of your profit towards kindness
Coaching has given all of my clients leverage it their growth
It’s not what you know that matters it’s how you apply what you know for a bigger and better outcome
Connect with me on gemini.dhar@gmail.com
To learn more
about Takw charge 5 x formulas
Your ticket to guaranteed profit through a proven system
#geminidhar
#takecharge5xformula
What kind of entrepreneur are you ?
What kind of entrepreneur are you ?
Do you love fast growth and quick results ! Who does not 😀
Or are you chilled out and cool about putting in hours of work so that you reap bigger profits and sustain for a longer time - some of us have the patience 😀
Farmer or hunter !!!
Well I work with many women entrepreneurs and they all want to be like -rabbits fast and rewarded asap .
Ready to run the race at the shoot of a bullet almost as if they have been chained for long and now are free to run towards their dreams . Excited , eager, restless and at times reckless and easy prey to fast track results .
So every result is needed quicker they at times are so desperate to make profits that they overlook the foundation of their business .
You got me right the vision is big the mission is strong however the person ego is going to execute the entire plan is they themselves !! Fall short in know how and bigger picture
While they look forward to conquering the world
80 percent of them have not conquered their inner demons . The inner work is almost always ignored
And they lack TAKING CHARGE
They have seen a quick taste of success and good profits and when it’s few months or weeks or at times few years LATER
They start pulling out their own hair out of frustration , lack of energy and of course stuck in the rut
Feeling
Burnt out is the fad word
No matter how smart you are and how great your product is !!!
When you stop loving your work and stop growing
The red zone - danger zone lights up and you are in hot waters
Either you move up or you get burnt down
Why does it have to be so extreme ??
On the contra I see well to do women entrepreneurs who are in no hurry to make that extra profit
They want to soak into detail , build a strong brand and invest deeply into creating a long lasting business which will go on or most cases need to be carried on as a second generation entrepreneur who takes over a legacy .
Either way they resemble the tortoise who take his own time to cross the victory line
Slow and steady
Nothing wrong in being a particular type
However time is money and nothing can buy you time except the art of leveraging what you know or have .
Meeta wanted quick results
She calls me and says
Mam. I want a coach who will give me results quick and fast
I have tried too hard and done good for myself
Now I want to go to the next level
Crack more deals and have a bigger reach ., build name and fame
That’s it
I don’t understand things like self help or working on self
I cannot pay money for all this
I can pay money to get more profits
Can you assure me that you will be my business coach and help me do so
This always bring a huge smile to my face even if the person cannot see me
It’s like someone wanting to have ready made muscle without working out
Or maybe I can explain it better
You want to score 90 marks without studying a subject
Well I can help you score more with less efforts but how can you expect to score anything in that case that you don’t want to learn
So the session starts with some fun questions and some eye openers
When they solve their business wheel and see where they stand
A lot of them have a humbling experience
To boast about your success and to honesty evaluate every part of you work is another
Realization is crucial
Acceptance even more crucial
And looking at things the way they are /not more grim or not more brighter
This it self gives many women entrepreneurs a reality check
Making profit does not guarantee cash flow
Having the first 50 k or 5 Cr as profit does not give you allowance to book your next upgraded car
You got to earn it right or your balance sheet will trick you into debt , loans and many sleepless nights
Ask me I have been there and would not want any of my clients to go through that
It can be a tricky journey if you venture out with only one dominant trait
A combination and a tested formula of a go getter entrepreneur will help you be IN CHARGE
Take Charge 5x Formulas
Are backed by my 30 years of global entrepreneurship and 7 years of working towards helping
Women entrepreneurs become financially strong
Know your traits and master them
Growth guaranteed
Ans happiness in building a strong future is your bonus
#geminidhar
#takecharge5xformulas
#coaching
#Business
#women
#go-getters
ENTHUSIASM - Do you have this fuel in you?
What is that extra punch you can add to your personality that can help you do more ?
Enthusiasm is most taken for granted tool to success
Or at times enthusiastic people are looked upon as Kiddish
Well can you imagine when a kids needs something how effortlessly they can awww the parent or how easily we give into their innocence 😄
I know the twinkle in the eye , the smile on their faces and the not to miss excitement in their voice .
Everything has intensity a feeling of wonder and the energy is almost contagious
Therefore people who work with young kids are chirpy happy and full of life they also find wonder into small things .
While those who lack enthusiasm and energy get fed up , frustrated and emotionally drained when they are among children
It surprises me as to how one does not realize the power of
ENTHUSIASM
Loving what you do , and doing what you love !!
How do you show the world you love your job, you love your work , you love your craft or whatever you do !!!
Your energy , the joy you express, the way you jump out of bed everyday to get your most favorite task done
And the exact opposite of this happens when you dislike a particular task
For me I am super excited when I deliver keynotes no matter how many people in front of me .every cell in my body comes alive .
And when I am asked to sit quiet and observe passively some tasks that I dislike my eyes start to water , my body feels heavy and I am almost asleep at times
That could be embarrassing as well as deter mental if I were to work for someone
Dipti is a gymnast
She has 1000 volts of energy in her body when she is on field performing or training , however when it came to doing household chores her energy meter dropped to almost zero
Causing her to have massive arguments with her mum , I am sure many of you relate to this .
Nothing she did made her mum happy . Half hearted efforts don’t give you results . They can only give you regrets
So Dipti’s mum approaches me and said Gem do something what the hell is wrong with her
Why is she like this !!
Speaking to Dipti I noticed about her double standard behavior and how it didn’t matter to her whether her mum went mental yelling at her she would just switch off the outer noise and go into her room and lock herself
The first session she agreed to do with me out of love for her mum she finally decide to call it peace at home .
So when we started she shared how life was frustrating and currently her anger levels had gone beyond her control and she even had a painful breakup due to the stress and boredom
This kind of energetic people need to be kept busy , they got be be super active and doing constructive projects
A desk job would kill their enthusiasm
Some awareness and a lot of discovering more about how she could create a effortless win win with her family gave her lot of relief
A bright girl that she was she agreed to break her damaging patterns and build new healthy ones
The work began and concrete steps give good results with some hand holding and more inspirational vision worked best with her rather than things to do
It worked beautifully with her .
This is just a small example
Your state or your energy levels are first created in your mind
As a fed up mom s enthusiasm would be so high - when she would want to go out for a Starbucks coffee while a family member would help baby sit her toddler.
Ask a fed up employee if he would want to take two days three nights vacation and see his eyes light up
Who doesn’t want a treat - we all do
However in real life when you work on your state , enhance your energy levels and CREATE
Yes Crest an environment that you are in charge of , where you bring up the apt emotion and use it toward introducing yourself to the world
This sounds super complicated and it is when you have old patterns to stop you from changing
However with proper guidance and practice you can develop the LONG LASTING go-getter attitude
Enthusiasm is a fuel
Leverage your success with enthusiasm
It can be learnt and for those who have it , it can be structured for results
Next time you walk into a meeting use enthusiasm and be surprised with your results
Energy is contagious- make the best of it
Take charge 5x formulas is not rocket science it’s day to day strategies that will unmask your potential
Women entrepreneurs let’s take your enthusiasm to the next level ❤️
#geminidhar
#takecharge5xformulas
Saturday, 15 August 2020
MERA INDIA
Independence is in true sense is love for your freedom
Freedom can be in many forms
Emotional
Physical
Financial
Behavioural
Expression
And much more
Independence also represents strength
Wishing mera india and the people of this beautiful country
Happy Independence Day
May we love nurture and care for each other and build a healthier and stronger nation
Take charge is all about taking responsibilities
India 🇮🇳
Our nation our pride ❤️
Monday, 10 August 2020
Do you live inside your head!!!
Wednesday, 29 July 2020
The Journey of being an author
This is such an unbelievable moment in my life that today I am fast selling author and also my next book is on its way .
Yo a student who scored average to low and was pathetic in spelling and Grammer is today invited for workshops and has had the previlage to have her book autographed by Amitabh bacchan , Ratan Tata , diya Mirza ,ARfeen khan , Hritik roshan
And many more
To be honoured and awarded on various organisations and having the joy of doing children workshops to inspire them
If I look back the journey looks like a dream
My belief in my self has completely transformed
When my mother hold my book with pride and says my day ther is an author with twinkle in her smile that too a toothless one
The price in her eyes makes it worth every effort
That one push from my mentor ARfeen khan and his absolutely simple 7 rep system to write a book gave me absolutely clarity on my audience and what they need
So now I can’t wait to author a dozen more books
With the amazing guidance and system that I have learnt
Thank you Mr khan - being an author has transformed my credibility
Tuesday, 28 July 2020
What fulfills you?
It’s been 40 to 50 hours of non stop learning
While I look into my tv monitor and get fuzzed out with a thought
Something which made lot of sense
Why did I give up a very high profile business with tons of money and let go of my past and embraced a brand new challenging start at the age of 45 when all I had to do is say sorry , mute my needs And self respect to live in comfort
Be more domicile and compromise towards integrity in my marriage just had to fake it !
Just act yes ACT NORMAL to the outside world and every thing that was happening to my marriage and me would be under quiet doors of my house
Sussshhhh
And I could fool myself thst all will be well , just don’t speak about it and don’t share it
People may judge you ,and I did just the opposite I stood up and they did judge me .
Things like she looks to old for him , he’s good looking man it’s natural for him to have affairs
He is too intelligent and she must be dumb
He is a nice smiling charming man she is an angry woman
She’s got ego and he even said that !!!!
She is a BAD mother !!!!
The bad mother statement hit me the most I cried , I crumbled and almost lost my cool - as only I KNEW how many sleepless nights I had dedicated to my new borns
How INSPITE having my stitches broken after delivery I crawled to get to my kids crib to feed them
How when all the peo pe in my family got busy with thier day to day life , I put out a brave front and did all that was required for growing children .
I missed my work , missed my cup of tea which at times I could not have til 3 in the afternoon as my priority was to feed my kids first
Missing my international meetings due to my daughter developing high fever
And a meeting I would prepare for for months would be shifted to be handled by my husband as there was no one to help at times
At home
So bad mother I was
And spooling my children’s life was what I was labelled because I stoop up against all odds
Wow I am dazed as all this as it comes flooding back to me in a moment
I did not realise that the wealth and the relationship did not fulfill me
When I see so many women and men rush after money
I respect their drive and passion
Nothing wrong with making more of each Area of you life
The question is what’s your fulfilment meter ?
Does it satisfy your need to make you feel - yes this is who I am and I love what I have
I am loved
I am cherished
My life has a greater meaning
I am not alone
It could mean different things to different people
For me it was the joy of being valuable
For every tear wiped
For every life empowered it gives me a new purpose
Countless number of women share with me - how they fear loneliness , judgement of society or how they have lost the joy of living
By compromising on their core values
Many of them say it takes guts , and I totally disagree
It takes self value , self worth and a vision about your own future
What is comfortable and okay today will be your biggest roadblock and deter mental to your mental health
When you mute the voice within
A huge chaos starts to unfold into your life which after a certain point is irreversible
Hence the untimely deaths of celebrities, the mental Heath of many well to do business tycoons
The absolute disowning of relationships or leaving all materialist things and walking on spiritual path
Why do people choose extremes when there could be a beautiful balance
Well the power of fulfilment goes beyond any other need
For some love is the key for some adventure is the key, for some significance is the key ,
Yet research says that the most and the best source of fulfilment is contribution
I have experienced this in last 7 years
And my journey is documented on various mediums
I speak what I feel , I feel what I think , I think what I feed my mind and my environment plays a vital role
Therefore Take charge of your needs
Dig deep and find the treasures of life that are an absolute pleasure to Iive by
Gratitude and contribution will always give you fulfilment
So the past is history the present is beautiful and the Future is outstanding 😄
When you Take charge
#geminidhar
#takecharge5xformulas
#empowering
#learning
#fulfillment
Monday, 13 July 2020
Thursday, 9 July 2020
Who do you choose to be?
So many people believe that once I am more stable , once I have more money or once I have more time I will do so and so
Than countless hours pass always and the intent is there yet it fades out .
It’s sad to see mature people want to reap profits even before they invest in something .
As a coach I meet hundreds of individuals who have big dreams and big vision , yet when it comes to taking a step on the direction - perfect timing , suitably and many other excuses are put in front of their descion making .
Years pass by and only when something major happens they wake up to reality
So @tonyrobbins says you can’t expect to have fire if you don’t put in the wood
Majority of masses do not fulfill their dreams as they have not taken massive actions and so does my mentor @arfeen.khan rightly shared law of attraction does not work unless you work towards the results you want
To avoid making a descion is to bury your dreams and after many years have passed you become a person you would not like to see in the mirror
Regrets , complains , blaming the circumstances and the list is endless
If you have an imaginary yet real life roadblock in your life which is stopping you from living the life of your dreams
Pls google the interview I did on my YouTube channel with @iamshamsaalam and look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself
Am I a victor ?
Or am I a victim ?
Victims never succeed and victors always find possibilities
Take Charge. And stop fooling yourself with stories that hold you back , write a new chapter in your life and create possibilities
If you have a list of amazing things you wanted to do and have not !!!
Time to take the steps
Coaches transform the mind to create possibilities not only for other , for themselves as well
It’s a pure win win
#geminidhar
#takecharge5xformulas
#growthmindset
#massiveaction
#dreams
#victors
#womenentrepreneurs
#coaches
#mentors
#gogetters
Tuesday, 7 July 2020
Have been put off by words
Or been inspired by them
Transformational language is powerful.
You are useless
Dumb, foolish,
V/s
There is a better way to do this!
Let me show you how this can be done smartly
What you say n what you mean has a huge gap at times
And this of course is part of communication.
In day to day life , many fail to use the transformational mode.
Like a special occasion it’s used only to close deals or get great results where you want to stand out
Little do we realise that it’s the most crucial part of relationships
What you listen too ,through audio,video on media impacts your vocabulary and also how it becomes common pattern to absorb all this on a subconscious level
Studies prove that children exposed to such content can develop phobias, fears and much
Invisible garbage
As a child I remember Mahamta Gandhi s three monkeys
The food you give your thoughts create your ideas and those thoughts create beliefs and almost all outcomes
Words trigger emotions and they have immense power
It can hardens a year like. Rock and it can melt a heart
Let’s not let language use us ans instead use language to get our results
Very few know the difference
It’s not how many adjectives you know it’s how you say the same adjective in the most impactful way that counts
You are amazing can feel flat and out of place from someone who has no congruency and
Good job can mean the world coming from a person who is congruent
The set of speaking is the one that generates millions of dollars for speakers who give keynotes , ans those are the people who speak from the heart
I had been to one Workshop by Alok Ulfat
Where I learnt such an amazing fact / lesson
He is quite a task master and he said to me
Don’t talk AT people
Talk TO people
It’s such a minute observation yet it’s the only thing I did not realise
Being a boss for decade plus and working with so many employees I had lost the patience to repeat instructions
Years of interaction with dozens of people you tend to get short tempered
Little do you know how damaging it can be to ones self as well as the people around you .
What you fed your mind becomes what you get as results
Women are emotional and therefore either they are super powerful or they end up being trapped with their own weakness
POWER BELIEFS are the seeds of mega growth
Learn the art of communication,verbal and non verbal when you learn personal influence in my Take Charge 5 x Formulas
Wether it’s a loved one you want empower or a business deal you want to close
It all starts from within
Think of that one person you adore the most and you will observe how much you love what they say to you
Beware of of people who fill your thoughts with poison of negativity - they are more dangerous than any virus
#geminidhar
#takecharge5xformulas
#words
#keynotes
#inspiringstorues
#transformationallanguage
#outcomes
#powerbeliefs
Thursday, 25 June 2020
Your purpose is your incredible ALARM CLOCK
Have you ever wondered why you don’t do what you are supposed to do ?
And at times
You do a lot more than what you planned to do !!!
No matter how much another person nags you and pushes you
We seem to build a invisible wall around us and which causes us to be rigid snd deaf to thier instructions .
17 June 2020
Lalita kept staring into her hands and she was speechless , her body had almost given up and she felt limp and withdrawn from the world
Each of her finger nail was bitten off with anxiety and now she had no more to chew on .
We looked at each other while I offered her a glass of water and she did not want to make eye contact
It was time to face the truth , the mess that she had created in her life and business. Her paperwork was incomplete , her taxes were not paid , her car loan was overdue and her bank balance was as good as zero .and her health in a bad shape , her weight was up by 7 kgs in two months
She was a smart business woman who has made many blunders in last few months
She wore a expensive dress with some cool glasses on top of her head ,and had a expensive car waiting for her outside to go back to her apartment
She finally broke her silence and said “, for who should I struggle so much “?
“, why do I have to work so hard ?”
Everything has lost meaning , what use is this business to me when it cannot make me happy .
Truly speaking I don’t care even if I have to sleep on the streets
I am sick and tiered of this money making game
The more I earn the more I spend
And it’s never enough
Lalita had almost given up hope
She had no driving reason to wake up every morning and create something magical
She had experienced all the luxuries she dreamt of and now it was routine , nothing new
She has lost the purpose of doing anything new or bigger in life
It took us four hours where she came to terms with what had exactly happened and why there was no meaning left together life that was earlier so wonderful
She hasd a aha moment and a new ignited purpose to put it all under her control and TAKE CHARGE
Having a purpose fuels you , yet stay on the path of your purpose takes environment and efforts
A lot of support and hand holding
Sometimes your loved ones can give you the comfort yet take you far far away from your purpose
Every small thing in your environment matters
Yet when you are in charge of things and your life . Your purpose stays strong
It’s not a unique story at some point or the other we all feel like it’s over , we loose interest and we fail to remember that what was the reason we first started a business or a journey of entrepreneurship
During this lock down not one or not many almost every other entrepreneur has gone thorugh a state of doubt , uncertainly or sheer frustration
During my keynote last week , an interactive excercise with the audience revealed that’s its such simple things that makes us happy , it’s such simple stories that inspire us and the most neglected person in our life is
Me - myself
Worrying for every other person or for the whole wide world we forget to look within and keep ourselves last in the list
The vision blurrs , the purpose is forgotten and than start the symptoms of withdrawal
How wonderful it would be to wake up like a kid who is excited to have a birthday for himself or to be ready to party for a friend
The excitement can be felt right form the early morning alarm clock
We ideally should be that kid who wakes up with the enthusiasm and the joy of just another beautiful day
Purpose is the incredible alarm clock
What is your purpose that wakes you up every morning or does not let you sleep as you are so excited to transform the world 🌍
Is your life a paper boat
Or is it that strong ship who stands strong among storms or deep sea waters ??
Where are you headed and for what purpose?
#takecharge
#geminidhar
#purpose
#entrepreneurship
#takecharge5xformulas
Tuesday, 23 June 2020
Don't raise perfect children!!
Do not raise perfect children!
Yes, I too, was amused at that statement .
As an empowerment coach I want performance and results, and my work towards getting my clients to do just that. A few years ago, I was given this statement or you can say commandment.
I was doing the Call of Destiny workshop with my mentor Arfeen khan, tired at 8pm after starting at 7am.
This is about 7 years back now and this statement changed parenting for me, despite having children for 10 years already.
Today, my son has joined the journey to transform mindsets and lives at a tender age of 14, he speaks those words that I speak at 49!!
Truly sometimes, I feel proud, some times, I choke with emotions of joy and excitement as what he was and what he is now a huge non measurable change. I feel blessed and content, I push him to excel and then let go, I push him again and then let go. Giving him space to grow at the same time, giving direction to grow as well. How much he imbibes is left to him.
We come to a mutual rules of communication and that’s priceless to me.
In 2014 and 2015, my life turned upside down. Subsequently, so did my children's. From a family of 6 to 8 people, we were left to three of us and no certain future.
I always place value as the top most priority in life and any violation of them would result in me being strict and angry.
If I just blew my fuse, my both children had it - game over. As a result they would hide things from me and maybe inwards, be terrified if they made a mistake.
All this just because expectations were not met!
We take life too hard at times and fail to remember that things need to be created and left to blossom on their own a little direction and more love and compassion is to be provided rather than direction. You have everything you need already in yourself.
Like my mentor says, an iron fist in velvet glove, it’s a art to be mastered for sure .
Going back to that day when my relationship changed with my children forever...
I completed my assignment and it was very emotional as I was writing everything down. Many things started giving me clarity on where I am going wrong in life and what I should do about it.
Overall, it was magnified mirror and I was looking at all the flaws in depth so that I could improve, every aspect, including my children.
The burning question in my head was
what must I do, to get my children to be the best version of themselves? More importantly, I wondered, how?
I struggled with this question in my head from 3 pm to 8 pm that day. I wanted an answer, I wanted a solution. I felt I was not doing enough
Why did my children not score 95 percent? Why did they not listen to me?Why is that they don’t understand the importance of what I say to them? Why would they spend their crucial years like this? How can they choose their friends over me?
Why?
It frustrated me to a level I was obsessed into making them perfect. Or my definition of perfect. In the process, there used to be arguments, anger and even punishment.
Looking back I did not want parent like me. I wouldn't have tolerated one like me.
I was so wrong with all the right intentions.
There is a huge bunch of people trying to get Arfeen's attention and as always I waited patiently to see if he noticed me and let me speak.
I was also in two minds on whether I should ask or I should keep quiet as it would make me look an imperfect parent in his eyes. I took the courage to be vulnerable in public as few people were listening around me.
And he listens patiently, and he always throws these one liners as answers which can have many meanings and connotations, it’s self discovery and our own perception to what he says, and how we choose to interpret and apply them.
He looked at me from that stage and said, "GEMINI - DO NOT RAISE PERFECT CHILDREN"
I remember feeling disappointment,I wanted advice, I wanted a solution, I wanted him to tell me do this do that and what not. All I got is that one line. I knew him very briefly yet, I had this strong belief that whatever I learnt from him was life changing.
So my journey of being a different kind of mom with same goals and vision for my children. I let my children do things in their way, giving my feedback of new ways of doing the same task to get better results.
I let them choose for once.
Giving them their me time with friends let them be, not being worried how that friend impacted their behaviour, empowered them with the understanding how each friend will impact the quality of their thoughts and their behaviour.
Let them make tons of decisions, financial and others.
Give them a budget for the year and let them decide if they want to spend or save. And if they did choose something stupid (in my perception) I would give my pro and cons and let them still buy it if they wanted to. Loads of talking and listening, trusting them in every single thing they do. Forgiving the mistakes and highlights the lessons learnt rather than arguments. Cooling off time after an argument is around an hour, I recognised how to give space. Post that, no discussion and repaying. No name calling and no labelling. No comparison ever.
There are no judgements between us,
we are open with our weaknesses and when we're wrong.
Well the list is endless. Parenting is a journey and they are not your identity, good or bad behaviour is not the benchmark of parenting.
We all make mistakes, how we rectify them for a smoother and stronger bond is what matters.
Wwhen I see one child being quiet, researching human psychology and surprising me with her wisdom and compassion and some super creative make up hacks. She holds my hand almost every day and says, 'Mom I love you.'
I can tell you, I feel content and happy that I am successful in being the right environment for the growth and emotional strength of my daughter.
For a child, who never did any household chores to a a child who worked till 2 am to complete her set of chores while her exams were going on, has been a sign of understanding, acceptance, dedication.
Does that mean the chores were done perfectly every single time? Of course not.
The observation is what all did she do to her best and how it made a difference to her mom. Yes, my daughter, like any other teen has her own game plan.
All I do is give my perception of the situation, brain storm and ar the end it’s her decision.
With my younger one, who is now being featured on live TV shows and has made me think, how much potential a child has only when we don't put our limiting beliefs on them."
When I get so many parents tell me, I want my son to be like yours, I want my children to do this and that. I would humbly want to mention to you, something very important.
Do you want it or does your child want it?Have you walked the talk yourself?
Do you want him to do what you want them to or do you want to empower them to be themselves?
It’s a very thin line! When you invest in yourself to grow it’s a ripple effect.
When a child is happy and full of enthusiasm to grow and develop you know the environment you are providing is awesome.
When you have a child who is brilliant and does not know what’s stopping them, lead them to coaching. Coaching is not about correction. It’s not about being like someone. It’s about becoming your own hero.
While I get tons of enquires to coach teens, I ask the parents of THEY'RE game for the transformation. They always look confused as to what have they to do.
It’s the kid who is disrespectful, he or she is anger driven, he or she is this or that low attention span, is under confident etc.
However,they fail to realise that when it comes to children, is actually different formula.
Take Charge 5x formula works on teenage children who are looking for growth and emotional strength.But only if parents are ready to add those changes into their perfect parenting methods.
Every child need emotional strength and support before any long term transformation. No doubts.
Do you agree?
Does your family know such teens and parents? Or are you one of these parents?
Are you ready to mend your ways?
Share your thoughts and answers in the comments below!
#geminidhar
#takecharge
#mothers
#teenagers
#parenting
#empowerment
#compassion
Thursday, 18 June 2020
When you are on a mission - You are not ALONE
In times of uncertainty and current situation where all are home bound and some of you have difficulties at home you cannot share with others , so within your thoughts you may feel alone , lonely and dejected- left out . The fear of being alone or lonely can cause you lot of havoc and it has caused many to be depressed and what not. We count company by numbers - when you are part of big events have at times felt lost and disconnected . I have. !! Ever since I have embarked on a vision , I became so focussed and aware of my strengths . Working among many like minded people who think about others and not only about themselves . SELF LOVE is amazing and should be our priority however it should not take over your emotions to the level that you cannot see or feel others emotions .the right balance is crucial to make you feel connected to the outer world . When the focus is outward , the whole picture changes and of course you can never be lonely on a mission . Reaching out your hand to help someone stabilise is indeed a power in itself
Donot Look into that mirror for so long that you get lost within your own challanges - rise and shine every single day as you have countless number of people you could help .
Be on a mission and never be left out
#takecharge
#takecharge5xformulas
#geminidhar #lonely
#alone
#mission
#visionboard
#contribute
Wednesday, 17 June 2020
Do you feed your mind with healthy thoughts?
Omg! What can I do sitting at home ?
I am helpless , I am sick of doing nothing !
Why the hell people don’t take this seriously
Because of some morons we suffer .....
The complains and moaning are endless
The frown gets bigger day by day
As a result you pass on this why me , why not , why this and why that .... mental jargon to the people around
What if you knew how to replace the why me and I cannot thoughts with
Try me and I can thoughts
We are all going through a similar. Situation and I know all those brave hearts out there are working 24x7 to help save lives
A team of social workers are giving their best it help people around
We all can do our bit , provided we feed ourselves daily with thoughts that are empowering , solution based rather and moaning and complaining
What thoughts did you feed yourself today
Reflect and see
I am sure you will find weeds those that you picked up while you watched news and those that you heard from a friend who called you and few more through Your what’s up chats .
Are you aware of what these weeds/ thoughts will do to your actions
Beware
Be aware
De clutter your mental garbage and get set for a better tommrow
We start this week with conscious empowering thoughts
Coming fb live soon with 9 ways to empower ❤️
#geminidhar
#entrepreneurexcel
#9waystoempower
#thoughts
#takecharge5xformulas