Friday, 12 June 2020

Sometimes courage comes from knowing you are a role model for the little eyes that look up to you

This is a very brave step even today in my perception

I had many domestic violence help calls so far and I am putting this out in public to show a ray of hope and  surly assurance that when you take a step into litigation or file a police complain take help of a ngo or a good legal advisor  and don’t let fear stop you

No matter what -stand up for your safety and your respect
It’s not only about you it’s about the little ones who look upto you

Whatever may be the reason
Your action matters

So 90 percent people donot know this

It’s was19 May 2015
I was a well established globe trotter and financially strong entrepreneur
However I never took charge of my moeny it was all left to the other half so I had barely anything in my bank account .

As a result when there was rift in relationship all he could do was stop me from doing what I loved the most and build pressure by not giving me kids education funds etc etc which amounted to domestic violence and to the extent that when I came back home after three months of staying in a rented apartment

The doors of my house were not opened to me and with my children I was at the door shocked angry and also heart broken those same parents that called me you are like my son and not our bahu were completely indifferent
It took sometime to sink in that it was all over . Was it fake love and care they showed for benifts of a working  daughter in law ?? I donnot know till date as there are always two sides of a coin
I till date cannot understand how grand parents can treat their grand children like this surly something was wrong between us

When my child looked up to me with a lump in my throat  for the first time in my life I dialed 100

The officer on call asked me Detsils and I was choking on my words tears rolling down my cheeks , completely shattered.
My first step was to go to a police Counseller and so on and so forth

It was not anger it was sadness how could this happen to me from the people I trusted for 13 long years
Was this a nightmare
No it was not it was life

I took police help and entered the same house that I had bought from my hard earned money and lived  there for last 13 years
Every corner build with love was now a reminder of what a big emotional fool I was
Maybe that moment all I could see was the faces of my children and how painful it was for them to watch their own grand parents stop them from entering Their  own room / home
Indeed it was traumatic
And the journey post that was more like a tv serial where small petty things happened and it turned into every morning waking up with regret of how I had messed up my life ? Why me


  This picture was taken one day after I entered my own house and my daughter hugging me and saying mom it’s ok

All will be fine

Nothing was fine post that yet the courage I build as a mother of three kids as now I had a pet too to feed and look after

I am sharing this not for sympathy not for defaming or putting people down

I learnt from my mentor that we are responsible what happens to us
So anyone reading this and going thorugh shit  in life must know that unless you take responsibility and change your circumstances you will always fall prey to some form of violence or other

Resolve or restrain  it’s your choice

Fear  , public shaming or ignoring a problem will not let you blossom

Be IN CHARGE and you will see wonders happen

Say no to any form of abuse
Looking back  I see how I have been blessed when I took CHARGE
It was not easy yet it was worth every year every thing I went through to be where I am today

I took responsibility and life transformed for me