Tuesday, 28 July 2020

What fulfills you?

It’s been 40 to 50 hours of non stop learning
While I look into my tv monitor and get fuzzed out with a thought
Something which made lot of sense

Why did I give up a very high profile business with tons of money and let go of my past and embraced a brand new challenging start at the age of 45 when all I had to do is say sorry , mute my needs And self respect to live in comfort
Be more domicile and compromise towards integrity  in my marriage just had to fake it !
Just act yes ACT NORMAL to the outside world  and every thing that was happening to my marriage and me would be under quiet doors of my house

And I could fool myself thst all will be well , just don’t speak about it and don’t share it
People may judge you ,and I did just the opposite I stood up and  they did judge me .

Things like she looks to old for him , he’s good looking man it’s natural for him to have affairs

He is too intelligent and she must be dumb
He is a nice smiling charming man she is an angry woman
She’s got ego and he even said that !!!!
She is a BAD mother !!!!

The bad mother statement hit me the most I cried , I crumbled and almost lost  my cool - as only I KNEW how many sleepless nights I had dedicated to my new borns
How INSPITE  having my stitches broken after delivery I crawled to get to my kids crib to feed them
How when all the peo pe in my family got busy with thier day to day life , I put out a brave front and did all that was required for growing children .

I missed my work , missed my cup of tea which at times I could not have til 3 in the afternoon as my priority was to feed my kids first

Missing my international meetings due to my daughter developing high fever

And a meeting I would prepare for for months would be  shifted to be handled by my husband as there was no one to help at times
At home
So bad mother I was
And spooling my children’s life was what I was labelled because I stoop up against all odds

Wow I am dazed as all this as it comes flooding back to me in a moment

I did not realise that the wealth and the relationship did not fulfill me

When I see so many women and men rush after money
I respect their drive and passion
Nothing wrong with making more of each Area of you life
The question is what’s your fulfilment meter ?
Does it satisfy your need to make you feel - yes this is who I am and I love what I have
I am loved
I am cherished
My life has a greater meaning
I am not alone

It could mean different things to different people
For me it was the joy of being valuable

For every tear wiped
For every life empowered it gives me a new purpose
Countless number of women share with me - how they fear loneliness , judgement of society or how they have lost the joy of living
By compromising on their core values

Many of them say it takes guts , and I totally disagree

It takes self value , self worth and a vision about your own future

What is comfortable and okay today will be your biggest roadblock and deter mental to your mental health

When you mute the voice within
A huge chaos starts to unfold into your life which after a certain point is irreversible

Hence the untimely deaths of celebrities, the mental Heath of many well to do business tycoons
The absolute disowning of relationships  or leaving all materialist things and walking on spiritual path
Why do people choose extremes when there could be a beautiful balance

Well the power of fulfilment goes beyond any other need

For some love is the key for some adventure is the key, for some significance is the key ,
Yet research says that the most and the best source of fulfilment is contribution

I have experienced this in last 7 years

And my journey is documented on various mediums
I speak what I feel , I feel what I think , I think what I feed my mind and my environment plays a vital role
Therefore Take charge of your needs
Dig deep and find the treasures of life  that are an absolute pleasure to Iive by
Gratitude and contribution will always give you fulfilment
So the past is history the present is beautiful and the Future is outstanding πŸ˜„
When you Take charge